"I was expecting to have differences, of course! A new country, a new culture... I even came here not to repeat the mistakes that I had made in my home country."
Words of a client
These words belong to a client who came to see me after 1.5 years of her expat life. She is working at a prestigious corporate company under a good title. Her complaints are similar to other expats who moved to another country to fulfill their fantasies of starting a new life from scratch. Being an expat means being the skilled one the host country is looking for. So the term "expat" feels loaded. The foreign worker is categorized as high-class, educated, and privileged. According to a Guardian article[1], there are still hierarchical words in the lexicon of human migration, and the term "expat" is one of them.
Under the glittery cover of expat life, mental health issues are very common. A study found that more than 50% of the expat group provided self-reports consistent with risk for internalizing disorders, such as anxiety and depression. The stress of relocating can significantly affect our mental health and overall well-being. Especially, the pressure of adapting to a new lifestyle can be overwhelming. Life abroad can be burdened with too many issues. When these issues are not understood and left unresolved, they can lead to severe depression.
"I can't even decide between drinking tea and coffee. I wasn't like this before."
Words of a client
It is peculiar how a person responsible for making risky decisions that could cause millions in losses can doubt such an everyday choice. As we relocate to another country, our mental structures are subject to change, and our attitude towards daily situations may no longer be functional. For example, a person raised in a culture where hierarchy is important may seem distant to her colleagues and manager. Facing these sorts of situations repeatedly makes the person doubt themselves. Even though the person is not yet aware of it, this is a direct threat to identity.
The Identity Conflict
We all have an image of ourselves. We are successful, risk-takers, determined, strong, hard-working, and so on. When there is an unexpected change, we get confused. What is happening and how we perceive ourselves conflict with each other. This is a very challenging situation, and we put great mental effort into resolving this conflict.
This conflict is a complex psychological process that has multiple layers. Our backgrounds are one of the layers that affect this process. In this article, I won't be discussing all the factors that can affect these processes. Since we all come from different micro-systems, these processes need to be understood by considering individual elements. This can best be done by discussing them elaborately in psychotherapy.
Common Complaints in Expats
Instead, I will mention the common complaints that can be seen in expats:
- Anxiety
- Feeling depressed
- Low self-esteem
- Grief
- Identity confusion
- Loss of trust
- Uncertainty
- Sadness
- Feelings of loneliness
- Concentration problems
- Memory issues
- Mood fluctuations
- Low motivation
- Avoidance
- Physical complaints (chest pain, headache, tiredness, sleeping problems)
These symptoms commonly leave us confused. Starting a new page leads us through a discovery state. On the one hand, this thrilling state has a lot to offer. On the other hand, a lack of stability can lead to temporary stagnation and, consequently, frustration.
Re-learning the Basics
Take a moment to imagine having to re-learn the basics of everyday life: getting a public transport ticket, finding your way to work, or developing new communication skills. Having to experience these challenges for an extended period leads to uncertainty about one's skills. Having an incompatible image of oneself results in anxiety, and the anxiety spreads to other parts of life. The person starts to question their basic skills.
For example, a client of mine didn't dare to ride a bike anymore because he felt very anxious about possible negative consequences (e.g., falling). It isn't easy to accept this state. On the one hand, guilt comes along while we are grieving for the life, culture, and loved ones we left behind.
The Price of a Clean Slate
What could a person complain about under the conditions that expat life provides? The main complaint is anxiety. Immigration from one country to another is a complex psychosocial process with enduring effects on a person's identity. The drastic and dynamic shifts resulting from the combination of culture shock and grief from losses inherent in migration gradually lead to a change and the emergence of a new identity.
The anxiety consequent from cultural shock challenges the stability of the newcomer's psychic organization. Culture shock and grief from losses cause a severe shake-up of the individual's identity. According to an article by Blos written in 1967[2], this process is close to the individuation process of adolescence. A clean slate means starting over again. As Akhtar describes in his concept of "second individuation," this process resembles adolescence.
The big question comes once again in the person's life: "Who am I now?"
The answer to this question is the price you pay for a clean slate.
References
- Koutonin, M. R. (2015, March 13). Why are white people expats when the rest of us are immigrants? The Guardian. Read article
- Peter Blos (1967) The Second Individuation Process of Adolescence, The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 22:1, 162-186, DOI: 10.1080/00797308.1967.11822595